LAUGH ALTAR

=> TRANSFER <=

A pastor whose sermons is usually very long and boring announced in the church on a Sunday that he had been transferred to another Assembly and that it was the Jesus' wish that he leave that week.
The congregation started rejoicing and they sang "what a friend we have in Jesus!"



=> G.V.U Levy <=

An Assembly Pastor announced from the pulpit, "I have a good news and a bad news."
The good news is we have enough money to pay our G.V.U Levy..." On hearing the good news the congregation gave a sigh of relief.
And then, the Pastor continued: "...But the bad news is, the money is still in your pocket."



=> About to Wed <=

The Church Elder who was to introduce an intending couple to be married in the service unfortunately forgot the names of the intending couples. So, he rather said, "will those wanting to get married please come to the front?"
Immediately, 19 single ladies, 7 widows, 4 widowers, and 6 single men stepped to before the pulpit.



=> Stolen Fowl <=

MEMBER:
Pastor, I have a confession to make... I have stolen a big fowl from a poultry yard!
PASTOR:
that is very wrong.
MEMBER:
would you like to accept the fowl, sir?
PASTOR:
certainly not. You have to return it to the person whom you stole it from.
MEMBER:
but i have offered it to him and he won't have it.
PASTOR:
in that case you keep it to yourself.
MEMBER:
thank you, sir.

On getting home the Pastor discovered one of his fowls had been missing.